i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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