he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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