Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
