All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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