She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
