I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
there is glitter all over my balls
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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