Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
try to milk me bitch
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