So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
