i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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