Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
