didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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