I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
