So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I fill condoms, not promises.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
