In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
