"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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