I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
