im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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