I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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