oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
