They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize