Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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