JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Alive.
So much puke
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
