Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
