So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
