Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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