If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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