Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

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(713): View more from Texas

I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.

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(206): View more from Washington

second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be

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(+61): View more from Australia

What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"

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(616): View more from Michigan

last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals

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