wakey wakey hands off snakey
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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