I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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