I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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