she woke up with a sticky ear
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
