At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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