I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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