He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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