FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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