Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
