I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
