Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
