You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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