remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
