I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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