never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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