just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
