Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm both gender and math confused
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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