I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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