Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
