I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
