the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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