doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize