My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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