dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
