Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cannot find my penis.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pooping to opera.
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