Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
