i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Quick, to the slutcave!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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