It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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