I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
