Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
