im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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